Cloud 9 25

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Cloud 9 chapter 25

-- 

2 days later. I finally made my final desicioun. I might be risky.. But life is full of risks and you can't live without risks. Hmm

Me; mama 

Mama: amri 

Me: mama fkrt w est5rt. 

Mama: turki? 

I nodded 

Mama; w aish 9ar? Mrta7a? 

I stared at her 

Mama; hw mama shfeek? 

I stayed silent. 

Mama: shaden feek shay 

I shook my head no. 

Mama: ajl shfeek? Leeh t6al3en k4a?

Me: ahh mama Ana mwafga 

Mama: akeed? 

I nodded and ran back to my room. 

What the hell you just did shaden? Mn Jdk? Shaden you've never imagined yourself and turki in the same house, sharing the same room, and bed. Shaden enti est5rti. Something in me wanted him, and something wanted to stay away from him. I loved him so much more than words can describe. 

Shaden, Allah katb k4a w akeed feeh 5eera lk. Shaden He loves you. And you love him. Shaden twkli w ely y9eeer y9eeer. 

-- 

2 weeks and I will be off back to Los angeles. A3.
Mama: Esm3i 5l9 el7la ely 6lbteeh?
Turki and his family are coming today.
Me: Eee mama et9l 3ali elm7l
Mama: Kwais, brsl eswag al7in anti t7mmi 3shan ynzlk b,salon w yrou7 yjeebh w yrj3 lk
Me: Inshallah
I took a shower and I went to the salon, I straightened my hair then I went back home. It was already thirty minuets passed five. i'm super late i know.
Mama: a5eeran
Me: mama shswi ? hom t25ro.
Mama: e93di 5l9i bsr3a mafeeni ashd a39abi akthr, la tnzleen ela lma t5l9een
Fahad: Ahlan ahlan
Shai5a: Shaden bsr3a wela tra I won't wave your hair she shouted from upstairs.
Me: Okay dgeeega bs
Fahad: e93di lha la t39b
Me: Allah y3een. Weeen shahad?
Fahad: ray7a 3nd 9a7bt'ha twni mnzlha
Me: Yooooh
Yousef: Shaden tra shai5a w9lt 180 drja
Fahad: wsh tbeen b,shahad? adg 3leeha?
Me: la bs knt abeeha t76 le makeup mali 5lg
Fahad: Oh okay.
Me: Ezibdah byee
I ran upstairs.
Me: jeet
Shai5a: ejlsi bsr3a byjoon enas b3d agl mn sa3a.
She started to wave my hair.
Me: shai5a
Shai5a: hala
Me: 3adi as2lk shay
Shai5a: ee
Me: t7sen ely sweeta '3l6?
Shai5a: wsh swaiti?
Me: Eni r'9ait b,turki w ana 3umri 18 sannah?
Shai5a: Hmm shoofi ho feeh slbyat w ejabyat
Me: Aish hy eslbyat?
Shai5a: eslbyat Enh you're too young and you still have so much to do in your life. Elejabyat enh Al7een lma trou7en tdrseen barra zojk by9eer m3ak w mama tt6mn w tkoon mrta7a en feeh a7d 3nd bnt'ha, mo bs mama bl3kx klna. W a7la shay enna bn6mn 3leek gbl ma rbi ya54 amantna
Me: b3d 3umr 6weel. Thank you shai5a. seriously you're the best.
I wiped my tears that fell involuntarily. 

Shai5a: leeh tbkeen? 

Me: mdri. 

Shai5a: goumi 5l9t 

I stood up, and she hugged me so tight. I'm literally blessed. 

Suddenly someone came in. 

Shahad: Shahad the makeup artist is here for you young bride. As she winked 

Yara: the makeup artist helper is here also. 

Me; awww ya zeenkm! 

I hugged them both. 

They started to apply make up for me. 

Yara: ya 7mara mo cateye (: swi dramatical eye 

Shahad: a7la 3leeha 

Yara: Malt 3leek w5ri bs 

She pushed her away 

Me: yarb estwd3tk nfsi w wjhi 

Yara: trust me in this Shahad lw sm7ti 

Shahad: lw 5rbteeh ya weelk le sannah aswi 

Yara: and done. 

Shahad: wow. Amazing 9ra7a

Yara: I told you trust me. 

Shahad: 5la9 Yallah 5l,n76 el,blush t25rt 

They applied their "final touchs" 

Yara: jameela wallah wh 

She kissed my cheek. 

Me; ya zeenk wallah 6al3a 3laik 

Shahad: grey dress 97? 

Me: ee 

I went to my room and wore my knee length grey dress, it was a bit puffed from my waist. I wore my black heels. And accessories. Perfume, and I was ready. 

Mama: 5l9ti? 

Me: ee mama 

She came in. 

Mama: shaden 

Me: hala mama 

Mama: atmna enk ma tbkeen 

Me: mama k4a ra7 abki 

Mama: okay okay Yallah enzli 

I went downstairs. 

Me; ja a7d 

Fahad; mfro'9 al7in 

Me: Fahad 

Fahad: hala 

Me: Fahad 3adi a7'6nk? 

Fahad: hw 

Me: lw sm7t:( 

I didn't know why.. I just felt like hugging him. 

He pulled for a tight hug. I hugged him back. 

Fahad; feek shay 

He whispered 

Me: la 

Fahad: tbeen shay? 

I looked at him and shook my head no. 

Mama: SHADEEEN 

She shouted 

I panicked. 

Me; hala mama. And I went to her 

Mama: weenk yumma 

Me: mama jalsa m3 Fahad (: 

Mama: a7sbk foog 

Shahad: omi mtwtra akthr mn shaden... Wow... 

Mama: eskti anti w engl3i foog anti w Yara 

Shahad and Yara: a777 

Me: ro7u bs a7snlkm 

Fahad: tra jw 

Me: laaaa 

Fahad; bsmellah shfeek 

Me: la yjon shwy bs 

Fahad; ahfk bkf?

Me: Fahad 

Fahad; bye 

Yousef came 

Yousef: yumma abi floos 

Mama: rayg 8smbellah 

Yousef: b6l3 bukra 

Me: yousef roo7 bkramtk w tra jw Enas 

Mama went to greet his mother and 2 sisters. 

I sat on the stairs. Feeling lost. I was staring at the floor blankly. 

It scares me how days went by so fast. I can clearly remember when I fell from the bike while my father was teaching me how to ride it. I can clearly remember what I told Fahad when he took my PSP. And how I yelled at him. Yarb 3oonk. 

shai5a: Yallah shaden 

Me; enshallah. 

I stood up quietly and went to say hi to women. 

His mother: mashallah, sh5bark shaden? 

Me; 7amdellah b5air enti keefk 5alti? 

His mother: 7amdellah. 

Sister1: so what do you study? 

Me; I'm studying my prep year, but I'm going for finance. 

Sister2: mashallah!! 

I smiled that awkward smile and my face turned to all shades of red. They started to talk, the sisters with shai5a, and his mother with mine. And I was staring, thinking. 

Shai5a whispered to my ear: baba ybeek 

I stood up and went to Majls erjal. 

Baba: Yallah baba 

Me: baba bs2lk 

Baba: smm 

Me: shrayek feeh? 

Baba; w en3m wallah 

Me; ah 

Baba: emshi emshi. 

I stepped in, and my heart started to beat faster. Butterflies where roaming in my stomach. 

Baba: slmi he whispered 

Me: eslam 3laikm 

Turki; w 3laikm eslam. 

It's weird that we talk everyday w al7een mst7ya. Wsh jwi? 

I sat next to Fahad. 

Baba: 7na n5leekm 

La baba... 

they left. 

Turki; keefk? 

Me; kwaisa w enta? 

Turki; b5eeer 

Silence fill the air and turki decided to break it.

Turki; la tst7en

I blushed even more 

Turki; ma ylog 

He giggled 

Thank you turki for embarrassing me. 

Me: hey-.- 

Turki: bgoulk shay 

Me; tf'9l

Turki: gd a7d galk enk ajml mn elgmr bl,leela 3teema? W enk ajml mn kl elbshr? 

I blushed more than ever. 

Turki: shaden 

Me; smm 

Turki; 3adi nmlk gbl ma tsafreen? 

His question made my jaw drop.

Shaden; turki it's hard, I'm leaving in less than 2 weeks. 

Turki; I know 

Shaden; you can wait for 6 months. Please

Turki; okay. 

I felt guilty. 

Me; turki 

Turki; Sammy 

Me; 5l nmlk next week. 

Opsss.... 

Me: If you want to. 

Turki; 6b3nnnnnn lw 3ali kan 5leet'ha elyoum 

Stupid shaden. Wallah omk btkf5k. 

We talked about random things for few minuets then Fahad, and baba came back. 

Fahad gave me the look ely "leave" 

I stood up and I went back inside. I stayed with the women until they left. As soon as they left I ran to my room. To avoid any questions and "6g6ga". 

I went to my room I changed my clothes into comfy pajama, removed my makeup, pulled my hair into a high pony tail, wore my fluffy socks, jumped on my comfy bed, buried myself and my warm sheets.

I'm happy yet not. I regret everything at the moment, I want to take everything back. Every word I said, every feeling I had for him. However I believed that everything happened for a reason. W rbi katb k4a l,m9l7ti. 

Someone knocked my door. 

Me; meeeeen? 

....: shaden 9a7ya? 

Me: la shaden nayma ha4a 8reenha, ro7u

I didn't want to see nor talk to anyone. 

....: amanah Ana shai5a 

Me; come in 

Ana darya btg3d t7n leen td5l 

She came in 

Shai5a: su2al

Me; ha 

Shai5a: 9dg elygala baba? 

Me: wsh gal? 

Shai5a: elmlka next weekend? 

Me; ee. 

Shai5a: ARE YOU STUPID? SHFEEK MST3JLA ? 

Me; amanah shai5a barra w skri el,bab la anfjr bwjhk w agoul shay ma y3jbk. 5la9 glt klam w mdri keef engl3i. 

Sha5a: marh a6l3 leen t3lmeeni leeeeh? Me: shai5a please Mali 5lg 

Shahad: mjnoona anti? 

Me: BARRA 

shai5a: Shahad barra 

Shahad: trani mo bzr. 

Me: barra klkom bsr3a mabi ashoof a7d 

Shahad: Ana mar7 a6l3. 

I laid back and pulled the sheets to cover my face and whole body. 

Shai5a pulled it: Shaden explain 

Me: lw sm7ti shai5a barra 

I  was trying to hold back my tears 

I covered myself again and she pulled it again. 

Me: SHAI5A WALLAH LW MA 6SAITI 3N WJHI AL7EEN YA WEELK 5LA9!!!!! BARA BARRA MA TFHMON? MABI ASHOF WLA A7D !!! WSH JABNI ANA A9LN MN JEET W KL SHAY 5RBAN LW JLST B LOS ANGELES A7SN 3L A8L MAFEEH a7D M3AY YZ3JNI!! MABEEKOM MABEEKOM W5RU 

Tears started to fall. I couldn't hold them back. 

Both of them looked at as my parents rushed to my room. 

Mama: bsmellah sh9ayer. 

Me: e6l3o please 

I was breathing heavily. 

Mama: abshri mama bs enti hdi. 

They all left the room and closed the door. 

I laid back, and stared at the ceiling. 

Regrets regrets regrets. Bravo shaden. 

-- 

Next day I woke in the early morning. I only slept for 2 hours. It was 6:30 am. I went downstairs, everyone was sleeping, the house was quiet. I sat in the living room, and started to flip through channels. 

3hours later: 

-mama: 9ba7 el5air 

Me: 9ba7 enour ya nour hdniya  

I stood up and kissed the crown of her head. 

Mama: goumi tjhzi

Me; leeh? 

Mama; b6l3 wyak 

Me: abshri. 

I knew that she wanted to talk about yesterday without getting disturbed. 

I went to my room, I applied some very light makeup, I didn't want to look pale. I wore a long sleeve shirt, with leggings and sneakers. I wore my abaya took my bag and went down stairs. 

Me: 5l9t 

Mama: Yallah klmt eswag 

We went to a cafe, to have breakfast. 

Me: mama 

Mama: hala 

Me; mama Ana asfa 3la kl shay 

Mama: hw yumma Shswaiti 

Me: wsh ma swait. Mama anti akthr w7da bdniya '3l6t b7gha w still mt7mltni..  9dg lw a7d '3eerk ymkn ykrhni, mama sam7eeni Allah y5leek, abeek tkonen ra'9ya 3ali Mabek b7yatk tfkren byoom eni abi az3lk.. Abik daym t3rfeen eni a7bk akthr mn ay sh59 b,hdniya wallah mama lw byde al7in a36eek 3youni. W Glbi w 7yati ya 7yati anti w Nourha w b3d kl bntk ya a'3la sh59 bhdniya 3la glb bntk. 

I hugged her a side hug, and wiped her tears who were falling. 

Me: la tbkeen 

Mama: shaden yumma, Ana ra'6ya 3leek wla 3umry z3lt mnk, ymkn a7yanan lazm awreek eni mt'6ayga bs wallah ya bnayti eni ma az3l bs Ana arbeek! W a7bk akthr bktheer! 

Me: yumma 

Mama: hala 

Me: Allah la y7rmni mnk la dniya wla a5ra. 

Mama: ameen ya Glbi anti wla y7rmni. 

-- 

Mlka day: 

Kant 7afla m7foofa ma feeha a7d, ymkn bl,ktheer 35 w7da.. Y3ni ahli w ahl turki bs. Maknt abi aswi kbeera first ma ymdi second of all ma kan nfsyti tsm7, third knt m7tasa. 

I will skip until it's the moment where turki came in. My whole body shivered, my stomach was filled with butterflies and my face was in all shades of red. I was wearing a baby pink long gown, designed by Dior with my off-white heels. I wore my shabka. 

He placed a kiss on my forehead as soon as he stood front of me. I blushed even more. 

Turki: jameela 

He whispered. I let a sigh out and smiled.

Baba: turki 

Turki: hala 3ami 

Baba: ha4i el'3aliya bbnt el'3lya amntk 3leeha 

Turki: la tw9i 7ree9 3ammy 

Fahad: shaden mbrook 

Me: Allah ybark feek 

-- 

We went out to have "dinner" It was a pretty good dinner date. Everything went good. Until... 

Turki: shaden 

Me; hala 

Turki: Abek ts7been awragk mn Cali's university w tjeen tkmleen hna 

My eyes grew wider. 

Me: na3m? 

Turki: a5af 3leek

Me: ma atw83 kna mtf8een 3la k4a, Ana bl,moot a8n3t ahli a6l3 w 3andt a swait ely brasi w t'hz2t akthr mn million marh w tje ant barda mbrdh tgouli es7bi ? Thani shay ant gayl btkml masters t3al kml m3ay Yallah 

Turki: ma tfhmeen anti? 

Me: wsh afhm 

Turki; a5af w a'3ar 3laik 

Me: mn aish t5af? 

Turki: edirya mo aman

Me: t3al m3ay 6ayb 

Turki: shloun aje(: magdr 

Me: ajal Ana magdr as7b awragi w bkml hnak w a3la ma b5ailk erkba

He stopped by the house, I hopped off and ran inside. 

Yg'hr yarbi. La w ma bga ela ho ygouli "es7bi awragk" wallah ya 7beebi ant maa54ni w ant tdre eni adrs barra leeh al7in jeet glt "es7bi awragk a5af 3leek" malt bs malt w3. Akrh ha no3 mn el3yal, you chose me accept me they way I'm, without trying to change me or my life's style or stopping me from achieving my dreams. 

-- 

I woke up next day, having a bad headache. After the overthinking I had yesterday. I went to the bathroom to take a hot relaxing shower. I laid in mybubble-bath closed my eyes and started to remember everything. 

Shree6 7yati mr 3ali. Starting from when I was 5 years old  to 18 years old and a month. A lot happened in those 13 years. I lost people I loved people. I cried and I laughed. Life is really big roller coaster, it has ups and downs. Somedays pass by so fast and other days pass by so slow.

I am kind of girls who tells everyone how to stay positive, but secretly she cannot either. She's hoping someone someday will notice that not only is she empty, but she is struggling everyday she tells herself, it has to get better; but every night she goes to bed with tears in her eyes hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. 

To be continued... 

-- 

FEEEDBAAAAACKSSS.