THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER, PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR FEEDBACKS!!
"Hala dgeega 5lk m3y fe a7d dag elbab!!" I said
"Hala dgeega 5lk m3y fe a7d dag elbab!!" I said
"Hw meen" she asked.
--
I went to open the door and I found a guy who held a box.
"Are you Sarah Alx?" the guys asked.
"Yes," I said confusingly.
"I've got a mail for you, please sign here," he said.
I signed and took the box from him.
"Hey Sarah trani 3l 566 w ashofk wsh 4a," Hala said
"Tshofeni ma ft7t'h mdri l7'6aa," I said.
I started to open the box, there was a bunch of fake roses. I started to take out the papers the was covering the gift. and there was another box of Harry Winston.
"OH MY GOD" I yelled
"SHfeeek????" Hala shouted
"HARRY WINSTON NECKLACE ELY KNT AB'3AH MN SNTEEN" I said
"Meen jayblkk?" she asked.
"Ma adri l7'6a" and I started to look for the card, and there was it. I read it and tears found their way down my cheeks.
"Hw Sarah shfeek wsh mktoob" Hala asked.
"انا عارف اني مفروض ما أقرب جنبك ولا اسوي اي شي يخليك تتذكريني وخاصه اني متزوج الحين بس انا وعدت نفسي ان طول ما انا عايش ما اخلي شي بخاطرك حتى لو كنتي بعيده عن عيني يا نظر هالعين، واتذكر ٢٠١٣ في نيويورك شفتيه وكان بخاطرك وما شريته لك صح انك ما جبتي طاريه بعدين بس انا عارف انه للحين بخاطرك وصدقيني انا ما جبته عشان احنن قلبك علي لا حشا والله بس على قوله عبدالمجيد انت قول ابغى وانا اقول حاضر انت الوحيد الي كلامك أوامر.. القوي الله وحبي لك قوي شوف ايش اعمل اذا تطلبني شي ينشغل بالي وأدورلك عليه وعيني ما تغمص ولا حتى شوي، يارب انه يعجبك وطمنيني انه وصلك
-عثمان" I read the card once again out loud.
"Oh my god," Hala said.
My legs couldn't hold me, I couldn't stand, I fell down on my knees.
"Shswi Hala shswii ana kl ma glt bnsah yje w y6l3 le, Hala ana mdri shswait mo gadra asam7 nfsi w mo gadra ansaah" I said.
"Sarah enti e4kri rbk al7een" she said
"La elah ela Allah," I said as I wiped my tears.
"6ayb enti ma tbeenh skreeh w rj3eeh mn wain ma ja, w ensi enh jak," Hala said
"Hala wallah a7bh w eshtgtlh Hala wallah eni a7awl akrh kl ma 6l3t feeh 34roob arj3 alga alf shay y5leeni a7bh akthr" I said.
"6ayb esm3i abeek al7een trj3een kl shay mkana w tskreen elbox w b3dain ntfahm bs la tskreen mni 5leeni 3l 56 ana brou7 ashoof omi w arj3 lk," Hala said and left.
I took the necklace and stared at it for almost four minuets.
"Hw Sarah shfeek wsh mktoob" Hala asked.
"انا عارف اني مفروض ما أقرب جنبك ولا اسوي اي شي يخليك تتذكريني وخاصه اني متزوج الحين بس انا وعدت نفسي ان طول ما انا عايش ما اخلي شي بخاطرك حتى لو كنتي بعيده عن عيني يا نظر هالعين، واتذكر ٢٠١٣ في نيويورك شفتيه وكان بخاطرك وما شريته لك صح انك ما جبتي طاريه بعدين بس انا عارف انه للحين بخاطرك وصدقيني انا ما جبته عشان احنن قلبك علي لا حشا والله بس على قوله عبدالمجيد انت قول ابغى وانا اقول حاضر انت الوحيد الي كلامك أوامر.. القوي الله وحبي لك قوي شوف ايش اعمل اذا تطلبني شي ينشغل بالي وأدورلك عليه وعيني ما تغمص ولا حتى شوي، يارب انه يعجبك وطمنيني انه وصلك
-عثمان" I read the card once again out loud.
"Oh my god," Hala said.
My legs couldn't hold me, I couldn't stand, I fell down on my knees.
"Shswi Hala shswii ana kl ma glt bnsah yje w y6l3 le, Hala ana mdri shswait mo gadra asam7 nfsi w mo gadra ansaah" I said.
"Sarah enti e4kri rbk al7een" she said
"La elah ela Allah," I said as I wiped my tears.
"6ayb enti ma tbeenh skreeh w rj3eeh mn wain ma ja, w ensi enh jak," Hala said
"Hala wallah a7bh w eshtgtlh Hala wallah eni a7awl akrh kl ma 6l3t feeh 34roob arj3 alga alf shay y5leeni a7bh akthr" I said.
"6ayb esm3i abeek al7een trj3een kl shay mkana w tskreen elbox w b3dain ntfahm bs la tskreen mni 5leeni 3l 56 ana brou7 ashoof omi w arj3 lk," Hala said and left.
I took the necklace and stared at it for almost four minuets.
ابرحل عنك الليلة بسري في الظلام
ابنهيها معاناتي ولك منّي سلام
ياليت الوداع يكون بلا عتاب وملام
ياليت الفعل يا سيدي مثل الكلام
وبابدا بقسوتي فيني انا باقسى علي
بأهد اللي بنيته بايديني .. بايدي
لا كان الهوى لا كان ذلّك يالغرام
ياليت الفعل يا سيدي مثل الكلام
ولا بيهمني دمعك ولا باشفق عليك
ولو حلفتني باغلاك وردتني إيديك
باصدك واتركك ماضي واتوجه امام
ياليت الفعل يا سيدي مثل الكلام
--
Sarah: W9lni elbox shukran lk bs ma kan lh da3i w ent t3rf en eli baina ent'ha w b3d t3rf en lw Salma drt ra7 tt'9ayg marh f,allah y3afeek arsle 3nwank 3shan arj3 lk elbox ma agdr a54h mnkk
He didn't reply immediately and I really didn't care.
I went back to my room to complete my studying. after three hours I checked my phone and still nothing from him. Ymkn msh'3ool kaifa.
Days passed and there's no sign for him, I got worried a bit but I saw his sisters snapchats and they were doing absolutely fine. But he never replied to my text and I kept the necklace never wore it but never threw it; It meant so much to me.
--
"Sarah ma k2n ha4a 3thman?" Hala said.
We were having lunch in Pizzeria - Harrods.
"Wain?" I said as I turned to where she was staring.
He was there, with two kids and Salma. Ya allah ya 3thman shswt feek edniya, leeh eshaib l3b brask? Kaif n7ft k4a? Those four years changed me before it changed me. It made me realize how much he meant me. You can say that I got over him but I couldn't love another man. I'm engaged to Saud who is two years elder than me. We both infertile. I love him but not more than I've loved Othman. He's so sweet but not sweeter than Othman, he's so nice but not nicer than Othman. Allah y3lm wsh bglbi lk ya 7yat Sarah.
--
"Sarah ma k2n ha4a 3thman?" Hala said.
We were having lunch in Pizzeria - Harrods.
"Wain?" I said as I turned to where she was staring.
He was there, with two kids and Salma. Ya allah ya 3thman shswt feek edniya, leeh eshaib l3b brask? Kaif n7ft k4a? Those four years changed me before it changed me. It made me realize how much he meant me. You can say that I got over him but I couldn't love another man. I'm engaged to Saud who is two years elder than me. We both infertile. I love him but not more than I've loved Othman. He's so sweet but not sweeter than Othman, he's so nice but not nicer than Othman. Allah y3lm wsh bglbi lk ya 7yat Sarah.
احكي بهمسك حبيبي توّها تغفي جروحي
لا تصحيها ترا تنويمها عندي صعب
ليه متأخر حضورك ؟ راحت ايامي وروحي
لي ثلاث سنين بحدادي على قول العرب
احرجوني في سؤالي عنك وما اقوى ابوحي
كل ما قالولي وينه ؟ قلت .. ماربي كتب!
ايش اجاوب ؟
وانت داري عارف الحال بوضوحي
من يصدقني اذا قلت الفراق بلا سبب ؟
توّها تنزل دموعك جعلها تكفير نوحي
الله يسامحك مابي ادعي بلحظة غضب
صرت ماضي في حياتي وانت بالماضي طموحي
دارت الدنيا وياما دارت الدنيا عجب
خذ جنودك من خفوقي ما بقى لك بي فتوحي
جيشك اللي مارحمني بعد مافاز.. انغلب
لا تجيني ودي تنسى دربي وترحم جروحي
.خلها تغفى طلبتك هذا هو آخر طلب
--
I saw her, the laugh on her face that made me feel relief. Wsh a7ki lk ya Sarah wsh a5li. Bglbi klam ma y3lm feeh ela Rbi, mdri mn wain abda, mn 3younk eli shft feeha amal edniya w bl7'6a 6art mn gdami? Wela mn '67ktk eli kant trd ru7i kl marh ashoofha aw asm3ha w bl7'6a ma 3ad gdrt asm3ha? Lw edniya tdoor w trj3 wallah ma a5leek trou7en, ma a5leek t3tben elbab w a54k Germany w tsween el3amlia w tjeeben le Manoor w a7mdani. Knt 5ayf ansak lain jtni Sarah w 5ltni a4krk kl ma 6rait esmha, aw ndait'ha. Bs galha Bader w ma k4b.
راجع من الايام من الاحلام
ومن الف سناره مغروسة بقلبي
لقيت لي بشارة ما اغلى عطا ربي
أثر العمر ساره وموج البحر ساره
وكل المدى ساره
سافرت كل العمر وراجع احب سارة
--
Tzwjti ya Sarah, tzwjti w trkteeni k4aa. 97 ana tzwjt bs wallah ll7een abeek lw bs tgoulen waink ajeek w arj3k bdoon ma afkr w mara7 ahtm bdniya, ba54k, abeek anti ya Sarah. Tw83t en elkl ytzwj ela enti, glt ymkn youm y7n glbha 3ali w tje tgoul rj3ni, w trj3 ru7i le. Ent'6rtk ktheer ktheer marh bnhaya ttzwjeen? Bs Allah ywfgk damh shay bys3dk.
--
Today is the Melka, we won't have a wedding nor a big melka just my close family and his. Saud is so gentle, and respectful, he is so perfect FOR ME. Lw jayni gbl 3thman wallah ma atrdd wla l7'6a. 56bni gbl sannah w nu9 w twni agoulhom ra2yy or in a another words my final decision.
--
It was our 1st anniversary
"Ha kaif 3sa estansti?" Saud asked as soon as we arrived back to the hotel.
"Ee mshkoor 7beebi ma tg9r," I said as i took off my hijab.
"7lwa Italy mo?" he asked.
Ma 7lt b3aini ela m3ak
"Ee wallah" I said.
We stayed quiet for couple of seconds then I said "S3oud"
"Smii 7beebti?" he said
"Smm allah 3dwk, shrayek ntbna?" I said.
"Sarah wallah wdi bs elmw'9oo3 mo bs'hoola ha4i," Saud said as he took off his shirt and his packs showed and I died.
"A3rf bs 5a6ri b,a7d ysleena w ymla 3leena elbait, w ent a9ln e4a r7t edwam amout ma feeh shay asweeh 7ta el'3da w trteeb y5l9 bsa3teen w e4a kthrt thlath sa3at," I said.
"6ayb ana la rj3na riya'9 bshoof wsh agdr aswee" he said.
"Allah la y7rmni mnk" i said, as I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.
"Nami bs bukra wrana youm 6weel," he said.
"Enshalah, bs 3ethman" Wsho 3ethman sarah '3bya "bs s3oud" I tried to hide my nervousness.
"Aish?" he said with puzzlement.
"Bukra wain bnroo7?" I said. 7awlt arg3ha bs shklh entbh
"L7'6a Sarah meen 3ethman?" he said.
I started to bite my lips, wsh agoulh? Uf mnk ya Sarah.
"Meen gal 3ethman?" I said.
"Sarah la tst3b6een 3ali," he was so pissed.
"Ya allah shfeek bsr3a t39b 3ala wala shay ent?" I said.
He came so close to me, "Meen 3ethman ya Sarah e5l9i 3ali gbl ma aswe shay la yr'9eek wla yr'9eeni wla yr'9i a7d,"
"3ethman ma a3rf ela wa7d a9lan w knt mtzwjta gbl 5 sneen w bs:)" I said and went to the bathroom slamming the door behind me. I sat on the floor lost, I didn't know what to do, I was confused. Kaif a'3l6 besmh? Saud started to knock the door, "5ala9 ya Sarah mnb mswi lk shay eft7i elbab," he said.
"S3oud 7beebi 5lni shwi l7ali lw sm7t," I said.
"6ayb e6l3i la tg3deen bl7mam mo zain, wallah ma aklmk bs mabek tg3den da5l e6l3i weli yslmk," he said.
"Inshallah," I said, I got up. Few minuets later, I opened the door slowly and he was not even in the room. I changed into my comfy pajamas, laid on the bed and stared on the ceiling.
Life is scary, it can change a person in a matter of less that a year. I remember in January I didn't love Saud as much as I do now, and I never thought I would love him that much. Yes he replaced Othman, and took a bigger part of my heart. Saud tried to keep me happy as hard as he could. Lw as2lh najma, byje w m3ah elgmr. 97 rbi 54 3thman bs 3w'9ni b,s3oud, S3oud hlglb w el3umr. 9dg en kln lh mn esmh n9eeb.
Saud opened the door, "oh 6l3ti," he said as soon as he saw me.
"Ee," I said as I smiled.
"Yarb enk rwgti," he said.
"9dgni bs knt 5ayfa, walah ya s3oud mdri..." g63 klami,
"May5alf bswi nfsi ma sm3tk, wenh wla shay 9ar ma tswa esalfah a9lan," he said.
"Lait elbshr klhom nfsk ya s3oud," I said.
"Wallah enk tstahleen ely a7sn mni," he said as he laid next to me.
Mafe a7sn mnk.
I got closer to hiim and laid my head on his chest, and his arm was wrapped around my shoulders. That moment I realized how much he loves me, and how much I adore him; I realized that no one will keep me happier and safer than he does. He started to play with my hair, and I turned my gaze to him. His brown eyes, and thick lashes that took me to another whole wide world. His smile that make me relief.
--
It've been 5 years, and today me, Saud, and our adopted two kids Haifa, and Majed. Haifa is 4 years and Majed is 2 years old. Hala r'93t both Majed and Haifa with her two little girls Sarah, and Hind. Saud's brother made is wife tr'93 Haifa with her son Anas.
P.s: Me and Hala 5wat br'9a3.
--
I still remember the first day I held Haifa between my hands, she was an angel, she looked peaceful, and I promised her that I will make her the happiest. Yes Haifa and Majed lost their parents, but they will never feel that. Rbi enshallah by3w'9hom b,ubo w om a7sn mn ely kano momkn y3eshon m3hom.
--
Walking through LAX hallways, heading to luggage claim, Majed was with me, and Haifa was holding her father's finger with her tiny hand.
"Mama mama, shufi dog," Haifa said as she pointed at the police dog.
"Ee mama, bs ma y9eer ngrb jnba," I said as I leaned down to her.
"Leeh mama please broo7," she said as she ran to the dog. The dog started to bark as he tried to escape from the police. Saud ran after her and picked her up before she gets there.
"Haifa mama ma y9eer k4a" Saud said with kind of loud voice.
She looked at him and her started to glow from tears. He placed a kiss on her forehead and said "7beebti Haifa ha4oul mo mthl dogs eli 3nd auntie Mashael, they're dangerous." he said.
She wiped her tears and nodded. We took our luggage and went to rent a car. A car that's suitable for a family. A happy family, a loving and caring one.
"Baba baba i want ice cream," haifa said as we drove by an ice cream shop.
"Ya baba bukra ana al7een t3ban," Saud said.
"Baba please babaaa," she was nagging him to the point that I was pissed but I managed to stay calm, yet Saud didn't,
"Gltlk bukra y3ni bukra," he yelled at her.
"S3oud 7ram 3laik bzr traha 5f shwi," I said.
"La elah ela allah," Saud said as Haifa started to cry silently.
"6ayb ya baba al7een awdi elashya2 elhotel w nroo7 nshtri," Saud said.
Both of Haifa and Majed were quiet, Haifa was panicked and Majed was sleeping.
"Esm3i nharhom 6weel 4oul, nry7 bl,hotel sa3ten k4a b3dain n6l3 nt3sha w nrj3 shrayek?" Saud suggested.
"Ee okay bs mu mushkla, bs ahm shay nrj3 bdri Majed nomh m7yous shwi," I said.
"Ee ma 3laik mnh elyoum ana a3dl noumh '39b, bs 5l ygoum al7een," he said.
"Haifa mama gwmi o5ok," I ordered her.
"Majed majed wake up yallah 3shan we sleep at night," Haifa said as she started shaking her brother.
"Majeed yallah," she shook him more until he started to cry.
"Mama he cried ma swait shay walah mama," she said
"3adi ya mama shwi y9ee7 w yskt," I said.
"ha4a 7na w9lna," Saud said.
--
It was amazing two weeks with the 3 people I love the most.
Yes my life ended with Othman, but it never did with Saud, we had so many fights, so many laughs. Haifa and Majed were growing so fast, they didn't look like me nor Saud, but their hearts? Were even purer than ours, they never felt that we aren't their real parents, and they will never do enshallah. I raised them to love each other, and to care about each other, to support each other, I raised them to be confident and proud about who they're.
The end..
"Yarb enk rwgti," he said.
"9dgni bs knt 5ayfa, walah ya s3oud mdri..." g63 klami,
"May5alf bswi nfsi ma sm3tk, wenh wla shay 9ar ma tswa esalfah a9lan," he said.
"Lait elbshr klhom nfsk ya s3oud," I said.
"Wallah enk tstahleen ely a7sn mni," he said as he laid next to me.
Mafe a7sn mnk.
I got closer to hiim and laid my head on his chest, and his arm was wrapped around my shoulders. That moment I realized how much he loves me, and how much I adore him; I realized that no one will keep me happier and safer than he does. He started to play with my hair, and I turned my gaze to him. His brown eyes, and thick lashes that took me to another whole wide world. His smile that make me relief.
--
It've been 5 years, and today me, Saud, and our adopted two kids Haifa, and Majed. Haifa is 4 years and Majed is 2 years old. Hala r'93t both Majed and Haifa with her two little girls Sarah, and Hind. Saud's brother made is wife tr'93 Haifa with her son Anas.
P.s: Me and Hala 5wat br'9a3.
--
I still remember the first day I held Haifa between my hands, she was an angel, she looked peaceful, and I promised her that I will make her the happiest. Yes Haifa and Majed lost their parents, but they will never feel that. Rbi enshallah by3w'9hom b,ubo w om a7sn mn ely kano momkn y3eshon m3hom.
--
Walking through LAX hallways, heading to luggage claim, Majed was with me, and Haifa was holding her father's finger with her tiny hand.
"Mama mama, shufi dog," Haifa said as she pointed at the police dog.
"Ee mama, bs ma y9eer ngrb jnba," I said as I leaned down to her.
"Leeh mama please broo7," she said as she ran to the dog. The dog started to bark as he tried to escape from the police. Saud ran after her and picked her up before she gets there.
"Haifa mama ma y9eer k4a" Saud said with kind of loud voice.
She looked at him and her started to glow from tears. He placed a kiss on her forehead and said "7beebti Haifa ha4oul mo mthl dogs eli 3nd auntie Mashael, they're dangerous." he said.
She wiped her tears and nodded. We took our luggage and went to rent a car. A car that's suitable for a family. A happy family, a loving and caring one.
"Baba baba i want ice cream," haifa said as we drove by an ice cream shop.
"Ya baba bukra ana al7een t3ban," Saud said.
"Baba please babaaa," she was nagging him to the point that I was pissed but I managed to stay calm, yet Saud didn't,
"Gltlk bukra y3ni bukra," he yelled at her.
"S3oud 7ram 3laik bzr traha 5f shwi," I said.
"La elah ela allah," Saud said as Haifa started to cry silently.
"6ayb ya baba al7een awdi elashya2 elhotel w nroo7 nshtri," Saud said.
Both of Haifa and Majed were quiet, Haifa was panicked and Majed was sleeping.
"Esm3i nharhom 6weel 4oul, nry7 bl,hotel sa3ten k4a b3dain n6l3 nt3sha w nrj3 shrayek?" Saud suggested.
"Ee okay bs mu mushkla, bs ahm shay nrj3 bdri Majed nomh m7yous shwi," I said.
"Ee ma 3laik mnh elyoum ana a3dl noumh '39b, bs 5l ygoum al7een," he said.
"Haifa mama gwmi o5ok," I ordered her.
"Majed majed wake up yallah 3shan we sleep at night," Haifa said as she started shaking her brother.
"Majeed yallah," she shook him more until he started to cry.
"Mama he cried ma swait shay walah mama," she said
"3adi ya mama shwi y9ee7 w yskt," I said.
"ha4a 7na w9lna," Saud said.
--
It was amazing two weeks with the 3 people I love the most.
Yes my life ended with Othman, but it never did with Saud, we had so many fights, so many laughs. Haifa and Majed were growing so fast, they didn't look like me nor Saud, but their hearts? Were even purer than ours, they never felt that we aren't their real parents, and they will never do enshallah. I raised them to love each other, and to care about each other, to support each other, I raised them to be confident and proud about who they're.
The end..
