--
"Yumma Sarah t3w4i mn eblees ma yjouz ely tsweena!" she said as tears gathered in her eyes.
She helped me to stand up, and washed my face, w tgra 3ali Quraan.
--
Time passed and I didn't move on yet, eight months weren't enough to heal my broken heart, it wasn't enough to forgive myself. I decided to distract myself with studying, I applied to University of Cardiff in the United Kingdom for masters. My parents didn't accept the idea at first, but I gave them no choice. I'm leaving in three days, my best friend and cousin Hala was sitting on the sofa in my room.
"y3ni ma be4nk may? Mu9ra?" she said as I was packing.
"Tst'hbleen Hala? enti akthr wa7da t3rfeen leeh ana mo bs abi aroo7 lazm aroo7" I said as I folded my shirt.
"6ayb y3ni 3l a8l ru7i Dubai shay greb mo Cardiff marh wa7da," she said.
"7beebti Hala enti mashallah kl ejazah algak bl,London w lw y79lk elmw'9oo3 troo7en bl,weekend r7ti," I said as I went to grab my shoes.
"Uff elwa7d ma yshtaglk y3ni?" she said, as she crossed her arms on her chest.
"7beebti halo ana bshtaglk akthrr wallah," as I went and hugged her.
Me and Hala are closer than no one. If I had to choose one person to take with me to Cardiff I'd definitely choose her, even if I was married to Othman. No offense to my parents, but I really need my best-friend.
An hour later:
"Hala w Sarah yallah bn6l3 t25rna," my mom called us from downstairs.
"yalla 5alti jayyen!" Hala said as she grabbed her purse and went downstairs.
I took my abaya and went after her.
We went to a restaurant, a fancy one. My mom and Hala went inside before me, I stayed outside talking on the phone with Saudi Airways about my flight. Less than a minuet later Hala came out, est'3rbt. When I hung up she immediately said "Shrayek n'3yr elm63m?"
"Hw hala la amanah mali 5lg astna marh t3banaa" I said.
my mom came to us and said "Sarah mama 5n'3yer elm63m nroo7 Nozomi wela shay thani"
"Allah mama Nozomi b3eed ma feeni, w wsh mshkltkom m3 4a momkn afhm?" I said
"Yumma za7ma w grf," Mama said
"Mama mswya reservation 5la9," I said and walked inside the restaurant, ignoring them.
They followed me, when we first entered my eyes met his. At first I felt relief it was like I was brought back to life. But when I saw who was sitting front of him, It felt like a water was poured at me, I froze in my place, I couldn't move my eyes from his table. Who's he sitting with? Who the fuck is she? I was boiling from the inside. She was blushing, and giggling shyly, I wanted to go and smash her head to the wall I wanted to slap her face to the plate that filled with french fries, and steak. I swallowed my spit, and said "Excuse me there's a reservation under the name Sarah Alx"
"Oh for 3?" he said.
"Yes please," I replied, but my eyes is still glued on his table. He was staring back.
When we sat our table was facing his. I tried to avoid him, but I really couldn't, I choked back my tears.
I tried to act normal but I couldn't. Seeing him sitting with another girl gives me heart-ache. I'm dying to know who's she. I want him to get married yet I don't want to. I want him to have a happy life but it kills me that there's someone who might make him happier than I did.
W7eed w 7olh a7babh y7s enh w7eed
Ykabr kl ma 9abh y'6n enh yfeed
Lw elm9ba7 beedah ylbi ma b'3a seedh
W7eed w mw3dh sri wla 7yn dra
Akeed mnho eli ydri ma dam enh sra
Ygabl 6eefh m3shoog'h w y7keelh 3la shoog'h
W y7'6n 6eefh el'3ali w yshki ma jra
W7eed w y7tri bakr ybe y5f elalam
W '3eerh ybni lbakr w hu bh ma 7alm
Ktheer eli 7aka w laamah ygoul el3umr gdamh
97ee7 enas lwamah gleel eli fhm
W7eed w ma wdh ytnasa w lw yb'3a nsa
3need mn gswt 7yat'h 3ala nfs'h gsa
3asa Allah yl6f b7alh yzeen elkon y9falh
Mthel ma 76m amalh ynseeh elasa..
--
Othman's Point of View:
When I saw her, I felt like if there was a heavy weight in my heart. She became pale, I know her when she doesn't feel good. And I know that I'm the reason behind that pale face, and skinny body. I was sitting with my fiancé, Salma. She's nice but not nicer than Sarah, sweet but not sweeter than Sarah, she's caring but no one is like Sarah.
I went back home that day after I dropped Salma at her house, I laid on my bed, feeling empty, I looked at my right, and it burned me alive, I didn't find Sarah texting on her phone, or applying some beauty products. A'3ba shay swaita eni 6aw3tk ya Sarah, 3ugbha 6aw3t omi w tzwjt. If I just listened to you 4 years ago.
Flashback to Germany:
"Okay Ms Alx, so the problem here is in the uterus, to be more specified it's in the cervix it doesn't let the sperm go to the ovum." The Germanic doctor said.
"And what can we do about it?" Sarah asked
"There's only one solution," the doctor said
"And what's it?" Sarah asked as she held my hand tightly.
"An operation," the doctor said.
"And there's any side effects?" I asked.
"100% yes, but what i'm afraid of, that the success rate is just 25%" the doctor said
My face color started to change,
"Can you tell us more about it?" Sarah said.
The doctor started to talk, I wasn't convinced, sarah was. The fact that I might loose Sarah was taking over my mind. We had a huge fight, then we went back to Riyadh.
Laitna ma rj3na ya Sarah laitna ma rj3na w sm3t klamk w swaiteha. Allah kreem.
End of Flashback.
Estkthrk wgti 3ali w '3da bk
3adt zmani kl ma 6ab hwn
Lait ely wdak ya zain jabk
Yshoof 3ugbk kaif elayam swn
Shrgn mshait w '3rb wgti msha bk
W elglb malh laym feek lw wn
3ugb elhana bk 4ag lo3t 34abk
Tlwnt dnyaah wla tlwn
6weetni 6ay elwrg fe ketabk
7ata m3aleg el7sha lk t6wn
Eshtgt el.ayam elhawa b,janabk
Youm eshmoo3 fe lail ela7bab '9wn
W eshtgt agoul lhatfk mr7ba bk
W eshtgt l'3youm e97ari tkwn
3wd tara da3i elhawa 3nd babk
W er'9i elgloob ely b3d ma trwn
'3neetlk 3umri wla ja jwabk
W esmi m3 mjnoon Layla tdwn
Estkthrk wgti 3ali w '3da bk..
Gal elweda3 w t9af7na w twad3na
Kl wa7d mnna glbh 3ala ethani
S2lt dmoo3 elmwade3 mn mdam3na
W elkoun klh emtla t3beer w ashjani
Ana w 7beebi bkeena mn mwaj3na
Mn youm '3adr 7bebi bgeet w7dani
Doun el,lga man3 elayam ymn3na
Ya nkbtn jtna mn 9rf elazmani
Ma a7sb elwgt w elayam t5d3na
W lna tbyt shga w hmoom w a7zani
Allah gadr b3d elfrag yjm3na
W n4oog 63m ellga mn b3d 7rmani
To be continued..
An hour later:
"Hala w Sarah yallah bn6l3 t25rna," my mom called us from downstairs.
"yalla 5alti jayyen!" Hala said as she grabbed her purse and went downstairs.
I took my abaya and went after her.
We went to a restaurant, a fancy one. My mom and Hala went inside before me, I stayed outside talking on the phone with Saudi Airways about my flight. Less than a minuet later Hala came out, est'3rbt. When I hung up she immediately said "Shrayek n'3yr elm63m?"
"Hw hala la amanah mali 5lg astna marh t3banaa" I said.
my mom came to us and said "Sarah mama 5n'3yer elm63m nroo7 Nozomi wela shay thani"
"Allah mama Nozomi b3eed ma feeni, w wsh mshkltkom m3 4a momkn afhm?" I said
"Yumma za7ma w grf," Mama said
"Mama mswya reservation 5la9," I said and walked inside the restaurant, ignoring them.
They followed me, when we first entered my eyes met his. At first I felt relief it was like I was brought back to life. But when I saw who was sitting front of him, It felt like a water was poured at me, I froze in my place, I couldn't move my eyes from his table. Who's he sitting with? Who the fuck is she? I was boiling from the inside. She was blushing, and giggling shyly, I wanted to go and smash her head to the wall I wanted to slap her face to the plate that filled with french fries, and steak. I swallowed my spit, and said "Excuse me there's a reservation under the name Sarah Alx"
"Oh for 3?" he said.
"Yes please," I replied, but my eyes is still glued on his table. He was staring back.
When we sat our table was facing his. I tried to avoid him, but I really couldn't, I choked back my tears.
I tried to act normal but I couldn't. Seeing him sitting with another girl gives me heart-ache. I'm dying to know who's she. I want him to get married yet I don't want to. I want him to have a happy life but it kills me that there's someone who might make him happier than I did.
W7eed w 7olh a7babh y7s enh w7eed
Ykabr kl ma 9abh y'6n enh yfeed
Lw elm9ba7 beedah ylbi ma b'3a seedh
W7eed w mw3dh sri wla 7yn dra
Akeed mnho eli ydri ma dam enh sra
Ygabl 6eefh m3shoog'h w y7keelh 3la shoog'h
W y7'6n 6eefh el'3ali w yshki ma jra
W7eed w y7tri bakr ybe y5f elalam
W '3eerh ybni lbakr w hu bh ma 7alm
Ktheer eli 7aka w laamah ygoul el3umr gdamh
97ee7 enas lwamah gleel eli fhm
W7eed w ma wdh ytnasa w lw yb'3a nsa
3need mn gswt 7yat'h 3ala nfs'h gsa
3asa Allah yl6f b7alh yzeen elkon y9falh
Mthel ma 76m amalh ynseeh elasa..
--
Othman's Point of View:
When I saw her, I felt like if there was a heavy weight in my heart. She became pale, I know her when she doesn't feel good. And I know that I'm the reason behind that pale face, and skinny body. I was sitting with my fiancé, Salma. She's nice but not nicer than Sarah, sweet but not sweeter than Sarah, she's caring but no one is like Sarah.
I went back home that day after I dropped Salma at her house, I laid on my bed, feeling empty, I looked at my right, and it burned me alive, I didn't find Sarah texting on her phone, or applying some beauty products. A'3ba shay swaita eni 6aw3tk ya Sarah, 3ugbha 6aw3t omi w tzwjt. If I just listened to you 4 years ago.
Flashback to Germany:
"Okay Ms Alx, so the problem here is in the uterus, to be more specified it's in the cervix it doesn't let the sperm go to the ovum." The Germanic doctor said.
"And what can we do about it?" Sarah asked
"There's only one solution," the doctor said
"And what's it?" Sarah asked as she held my hand tightly.
"An operation," the doctor said.
"And there's any side effects?" I asked.
"100% yes, but what i'm afraid of, that the success rate is just 25%" the doctor said
My face color started to change,
"Can you tell us more about it?" Sarah said.
The doctor started to talk, I wasn't convinced, sarah was. The fact that I might loose Sarah was taking over my mind. We had a huge fight, then we went back to Riyadh.
Laitna ma rj3na ya Sarah laitna ma rj3na w sm3t klamk w swaiteha. Allah kreem.
End of Flashback.
Estkthrk wgti 3ali w '3da bk
3adt zmani kl ma 6ab hwn
Lait ely wdak ya zain jabk
Yshoof 3ugbk kaif elayam swn
Shrgn mshait w '3rb wgti msha bk
W elglb malh laym feek lw wn
3ugb elhana bk 4ag lo3t 34abk
Tlwnt dnyaah wla tlwn
6weetni 6ay elwrg fe ketabk
7ata m3aleg el7sha lk t6wn
Eshtgt el.ayam elhawa b,janabk
Youm eshmoo3 fe lail ela7bab '9wn
W eshtgt agoul lhatfk mr7ba bk
W eshtgt l'3youm e97ari tkwn
3wd tara da3i elhawa 3nd babk
W er'9i elgloob ely b3d ma trwn
'3neetlk 3umri wla ja jwabk
W esmi m3 mjnoon Layla tdwn
Estkthrk wgti 3ali w '3da bk..
--
Sarah's point of view:
I saw him leaving the restaurant with her, the were hand in hand. But his heart was with me, his mind belonged to me. I can feel it, I can see it in his eyes. He was faking laughs and smiles with her, nothing with her seemed real. But it still kills me, I wanted to go and tell him that I love him, and I'd do anything just to go back to him. But I couldn't something held my legs, they felt heavy and moveless. I stared at him until his figure disappeared from my sight. I swallowed the french fries bite and pushed it with a spit of 7 up. I tried to hold myself and chock back my tears.
We finally arrived back home, today wasn't good, I didn't have fun before I go to the UK. It was a piece of shit, it was a bad day a very bad one. I laid back on my bed, grabbed my phone, and that whatsapp notification that grabbed my attention.
Othman Alx: Ma knt mtw83 eni ashoofk elyoum, bs ana adri w abeek tdreen enk bglbi lw 54k ezman mn ydi wallah m7d bya54 mkank bglbi, enti ajmal shay 9ar b7yati, w wallah eni mt7sf eni ma klmtk gbl ma aswi eli swaitah. Bs tdreen? Lma shftk elyoum 7sait ru7i rdt, nsait eni abi ansak, nsait eni w3dt nfsi eni b7b Salma. Knt abi a54k w arj3 elbait, nmr njeeb Ice cream w nsm3 3bdalmajeed, knt abi akoon m3ak mo m3 Salma. Sarah omi jbrtni 3ala Salma wela ana wallah 3ayf edniya w enas mn b3dk, Sarah sam7eeni allah y5leek, lw ll7een fe bglbk shay li rdi.
I read the text over and over, tears fell down unconditionally. I took a deep breath and replied with: T4kr lma gltlk enk mo lk n9eeb bglbi l2nk glbi klh a9ln? I still mean it. Lw tdoor edniya w trj3, lw tgoum w tg3d 9dgni ma b5tar '3airk 3thmani, 9dgni ma swait kl ha4a ela 3shank, 9dgni lw feeh a7d '3l6an blmw'9oo3 f,hu ana. Ent kent 6ayb m3ay bs ana ely trktk. w allah y5leek ensani, 7ram Salma malha 4nb blmw'9oo3 w allah y5leek ems7 rgmi. And I sent it before even rereading it.
a minuet later he replied
Othman Alx: ana glbi 7af'6k mo bs 7af'6 rgmk, ma agdr sarah allah y5leek sa3deeni ansak tkfeen Sarah wallah mo gadr kl you ymr 3ali knh sannah bdoonk. Adri eni ga3d a'6lm salma weyay bs mo gadr aswi shay elmw'9oo3 mo bydi.
I read it and I didn't reply back.
I was stupid and selfish, I was mean and harsh. I hate myself for doing this.
We finally arrived back home, today wasn't good, I didn't have fun before I go to the UK. It was a piece of shit, it was a bad day a very bad one. I laid back on my bed, grabbed my phone, and that whatsapp notification that grabbed my attention.
Othman Alx: Ma knt mtw83 eni ashoofk elyoum, bs ana adri w abeek tdreen enk bglbi lw 54k ezman mn ydi wallah m7d bya54 mkank bglbi, enti ajmal shay 9ar b7yati, w wallah eni mt7sf eni ma klmtk gbl ma aswi eli swaitah. Bs tdreen? Lma shftk elyoum 7sait ru7i rdt, nsait eni abi ansak, nsait eni w3dt nfsi eni b7b Salma. Knt abi a54k w arj3 elbait, nmr njeeb Ice cream w nsm3 3bdalmajeed, knt abi akoon m3ak mo m3 Salma. Sarah omi jbrtni 3ala Salma wela ana wallah 3ayf edniya w enas mn b3dk, Sarah sam7eeni allah y5leek, lw ll7een fe bglbk shay li rdi.
I read the text over and over, tears fell down unconditionally. I took a deep breath and replied with: T4kr lma gltlk enk mo lk n9eeb bglbi l2nk glbi klh a9ln? I still mean it. Lw tdoor edniya w trj3, lw tgoum w tg3d 9dgni ma b5tar '3airk 3thmani, 9dgni ma swait kl ha4a ela 3shank, 9dgni lw feeh a7d '3l6an blmw'9oo3 f,hu ana. Ent kent 6ayb m3ay bs ana ely trktk. w allah y5leek ensani, 7ram Salma malha 4nb blmw'9oo3 w allah y5leek ems7 rgmi. And I sent it before even rereading it.
a minuet later he replied
Othman Alx: ana glbi 7af'6k mo bs 7af'6 rgmk, ma agdr sarah allah y5leek sa3deeni ansak tkfeen Sarah wallah mo gadr kl you ymr 3ali knh sannah bdoonk. Adri eni ga3d a'6lm salma weyay bs mo gadr aswi shay elmw'9oo3 mo bydi.
I read it and I didn't reply back.
I was stupid and selfish, I was mean and harsh. I hate myself for doing this.
Gal elweda3 w t9af7na w twad3na
Kl wa7d mnna glbh 3ala ethani
S2lt dmoo3 elmwade3 mn mdam3na
W elkoun klh emtla t3beer w ashjani
Ana w 7beebi bkeena mn mwaj3na
Mn youm '3adr 7bebi bgeet w7dani
Doun el,lga man3 elayam ymn3na
Ya nkbtn jtna mn 9rf elazmani
Ma a7sb elwgt w elayam t5d3na
W lna tbyt shga w hmoom w a7zani
Allah gadr b3d elfrag yjm3na
W n4oog 63m ellga mn b3d 7rmani
To be continued..
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